East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
