btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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