Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
