just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
When are your genitals available?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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