You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
