carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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