The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
