So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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