This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
