I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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