she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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