seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
