Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
