Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
