I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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