i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
