there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
