The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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