hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
third nipple confirmed
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
