At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
