Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You can't motorboat a personality
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
