I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Randomize
