Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
