my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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