I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
