Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
