my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
