I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
