I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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