I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
