If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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