nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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