I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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