yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
