i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
