Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
