just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
