Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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