i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
