Sry I called you an 8
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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