I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
