so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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