I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
