my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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