Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Randomize
