There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
