Tell her she can't have a vagina
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
