Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
