she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
