Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize