And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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