I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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